Have you ever experienced a "flow" state? You know, that feeling or state of being where things just naturally come together without any work or force. Sometimes our lives flow like there is magic in the air, and other times the flow stops dead in the tracks, and it feels like nothing ever works out. This is life. It is a constant eb and flow, and sometimes so unpredictable.
December is always a tough time of year for me. It makes me think of my mortality and makes me think about what I should be doing while I am alive. December brings upon an existential crisis for myself. It is a time when I revisit my near-death experience, which makes me re-evaluate my life. Kind of ironic that it falls on the New Year. I feel like I died on New Year's Eve, and was reborn on the New Year.
Before I started walking my healing path, my life consisted of snowboarding. All I ever wanted to do was to snowboard. I wanted snowboarding to be my life. I wanted work, eat, live, and sleep on my snowboard and on the mountain. I wanted to create a life where I could snowboard year round -- staying in the states during the winter months, and flying south for the summers.
Snowboarding to me was ecstasy. It was truly pure bliss and I couldn't get enough of it -- even after I almost lost my life to it. I was so hooked on snowboarding for many reasons, but the one thing that really made me love the sport was the feeling of being connected to something larger and feeling connected to a universal energy. Snowboarding made me feel alive.
Something that snowboarding taught me is learning how to access that flow state. The feeling of standing on top of a mountain, looking down, and picking a line that you want to ride is both exhilarating and nerve-racking. Once you get going, sometimes there is no thinking -- there is only doing. Snowboarding to me was a meditative practice. It helped me to get in touch with my body, connect with the natural world, and learn how to just let go of whatever I was thinking about in the moment. This state of being -- this stillness -- is the flow. This flow state teaches one how to move and be in the world without thought -- it teaches one how to move and be in the world by feeling and intuition. It teaches one to be in the moment -- getting too lot in thoughts while riding is a good way to smash into a tree.
Recently, I've been feeling pretty stuck. I feel like the flow has stopped or slowed down. Or maybe I am choosing not to allow it into my life. Or maybe it is working, and I just can't understand where it is trying to take me. It feels difficult to ride, but it feel it pushing me. I am creating resistance. I guess this is why I am deciding to write this blog. I am trying to ride it and express it. I am trying to get the flow moving once again.
I am beginning to become aware that energy wants to be expressed and that it cannot stay still for too long. When it does slow down or become stuck, it will do anything it can to manifest change or expression. It is making me think maybe this is why crisis arises or unfortunate events happen. The world is trying to push us to grow and flower into being. It feels too easy to resists and block this -- change and growth is a terrifying process at times, especially when when don't know where we are headed towards.
I am not exactly sure where life is trying to push me right now. It feels like it is pushing hard because it wants to change directions. A message that keeps coming to me is to "let go," and embrace the ride. Just like snowboarding -- pick a line and go at it. Stop asking so many questions, and just do something. Get back in touch with this natural flow state and trust the process.
What kind of things do you do that helps you become in tune with this flow state? Is it meditation? Yoga? Walking? Reading? Writing? Snowboarding? I am curious to hear what else gets people flowing!